


Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

by VanityAvalance



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Vanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-19 01:23:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22269625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanityAvalance/pseuds/VanityAvalance
Summary: Vanessa is firmly in the closet and struggling with her sexuality. Charity unexpectedly helps her to sort through her issues and come out. Then their friendship goes from strength to strength.....Slightly AU. The cellar never happened and Charity and Vanessa aren’t together.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 49
Kudos: 300





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story lines past and present won’t necessarily be portrayed accurately in this fic.
> 
> This is my first multi-chapter fic (and only my second fic overall). Please leave comments/kudos if you like it – budding writers can never have too much encouragement!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @vanityavalance

It was a quiet Wednesday evening in the Woolpack and Charity was bored. Her eyes flitted around the pub looking for something to occupy her mind with and her eyes eventually landed on Vanessa, sat in a corner booth with a man Charity didn’t recognise. Vanessa was more dressed up than usual, wearing a black dress rather than one of her usual knitted jumpers. Leaning on the bar and her chin cupped in her palm, Charity wondered if it was a date. If it was, it didn’t seem to be going particularly well. She didn’t need to be a body language expert to know that. The guy wasn’t bad to look at, but he and Vanessa weren’t sitting particularly near to each other. And although Charity couldn’t hear what was being said, the conversation appeared to be stilted.

For want of anything better to do, Charity thought about Vanessa. They certainly weren’t what would you would call friends, but they would occasionally bump into each other at nursery if they both happened to be dropping off or picking up Moses and Johnny at the same time, and they’d share a brief hello or a few words. Other than that, their only other interaction would be at the bar when Vanessa was ordering drinks.

Charity’s thoughts were interrupted by Chas asking her to go down to the cellar to change a barrel. Ordinarily the request would have been met by a snarky reply from Charity but for want of anything better to do, she agreed in order to try to ease the boredom. When Charity returned to the bar, the unknown man who had been sitting with Vanessa was gone, and the vet was starring morosely into her drink.

Charity’s mind wandered again and returned to Vanessa. ‘Like’ was too strong a word, but Charity thought Vanessa seemed different to most of the other villagers. After all the trouble between Charity, Frank and Megan a few years ago, Vanessa didn’t seem to specifically blame Charity and took the stance that if she could forgive her dad and Megan, it would be unfair to bear a grudge against Charity alone. Then there was the time that the nursery had to close early due to the central heating breaking down and with Charity struggling to find anyone to look after Moses at such short notice, Vanessa offered to keep him entertained with Johnny for the afternoon. And all through the Bails nightmare, Vanessa didn’t once look at Charity any differently because of it and the landlady never caught her gossiping about it like most of the village.

Charity was snapped from her thoughts by Jai clicking his fingers at the bar. “A little bit of service here?” he demanded. Charity just rolled her eyes and with a sigh went to serve him. Once she had poured his drink, she glanced back to Vanessa’s table but it was empty.

Charity thought no more about it and stood drumming her fingers against the bar out of boredom. Walking past Chas at the other end of the bar, she told her, “I’m just nipping to the loo,” thinking this would at least kill a few more minutes.

“It’s nearly the end of your shift,” Chas replied. “Can’t you just wait?”

“When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go,” Charity smirked, before disappearing into the pub toilets.

The first cubicle was occupied, so Charity took the second one. She quickly relieved herself before washing her hands. Having dried them as well, when the noise from the hand dryer stopped, Charity could hear a quiet sniffling noise coming from the first cubicle.

“Everything okay in there?” Charity asked. She didn’t really care if truth be told, but thought she might get some gossip about one of her punters. She was met by silence, but she was curious to at least find out who it was who was crying and didn’t give up so easily. She could simply wait it out, but she wasn’t known for her patience. She sighed and muttered, “Please yourself,” just loud enough for the other person to hear. Then she opened the door back through to the pub and let it swing closed again, but she didn’t move from where she was standing. A moment later after hearing the door bang shut, the cubicle door was unlocked and opened, revealing a blotchy-eyed Vanessa.

Surprise flickered across Vanessa’s face on seeing Charity, before she quickly averted her eyes and moodily said, “I thought you’d gone.”

“Yeah well, I take the welfare of my customers very seriously,” replied Charity.

Vanessa scoffed. “After some gossip more like.” She immediately regretted snapping. It wasn’t Charity’s fault she’d had a terrible night.

If it had been anyone else, Charity would have taken the opportunity to stick the knife in, or to fire a barb back their way to make them feel even worse. But Charity remembered her thoughts about Vanessa from earlier, the way the vet had never treated her badly. Nice. That’s the word she would use to describe Vanessa. And Charity decided that she didn’t really deserve any of her jabs right now. 

She was still curious though. “So did your date walk out on you then?” she asked as she moved from her place in front of the sink.

Vanessa didn’t reply immediately, instead concentrating on washing her hands. “I asked him to leave actually, if you must know,” she said eventually, turning off the tap.

“So why are you here crying in a pub toilet rather than going home?”

“Because Tracy’s at home looking after Johnny, and if I go home now I’ll have to face one hundred and one questions from her about why my date finished early.”

Charity felt an unexpected twinge of sympathy. “Look, my shift is about to finish. Come round mine if you like. Have a drink to while away the time until it’s a respectable hour to go home.”

Vanessa turned and was looking at Charity as if she had two heads.

“What?” Charity responded defensively. “I can be nice, sometimes. Look, the offer’s there. Take it or leave it. Makes no difference to me.”

“Okay,” Vanessa blurted out, just as Charity turned to leave. “Thank you.”

***

After the short walk from the pub, when Charity and Vanessa arrived at Jacob’s Fold they both kicked off their shoes just inside the door.

“Make yourself at home,” Charity said as she threw her keys into the bowl. “So what do you want to drink? Coffee, wine, something a little stronger?”

Vanessa sat down at one end of the sofa, her legs drawn underneath her. “Wine would be good thank you, if you’ll join me.”

Charity rummaged through the wine rack, settling on a bottle she liked the look off. After grabbing two glasses, she made her way over to Vanessa. She placed the glasses on the coffee table and poured them both a healthy measure, before passing Vanessa hers. Charity then sat down on the other end of the sofa, sideways so that they were facing one another.

Charity didn’t have many friends and didn’t really do girly chats, so she felt a little bit like she was in unchartered territory. True to form, she cut straight to the chase and simply asked the first thing that came into her mind. “So if it was you who gave him the flick, why all the tears?” 

Vanessa was quiet for a moment. “He was lovely, ticked all the boxes. I just wasn’t feeling a spark. I guess I was just feeling a bit sorry for myself afterwards, wondering if I’ll ever find the one.”

“Well don’t worry, plenty more fish in the sea and all that. I’m sure the man of your dreams is out there somewhere. You just need to have a bit of patience.”

“I’m not sure there is such thing as the man of my dreams,” Vanessa said somewhat cryptically, taking a sip of her wine. And then something occurred to her. “Can I ask you a question?”

“I think you just did, babe. But knock yourself out. Ask me another.”

Vanessa paused for a moment wondering how to phrase what she was about to ask. “When I first moved to Emmerdale, people were filling me in on all the other villagers....”

Charity rolled her eyes and wondered where this was going. “Can’t imagine that anyone had very many nice things to say about me.”

Vanessa didn’t address Charity’s comment and carried on regardless. “I heard things. About you and Zoe Tate. Being in a relationship together. Was it true?” Vanessa had been unable to look Charity in the eye as she finished her question.

“Let me guess. Paddy,” Charity muttered to herself.

Vanessa immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Don’t answer it if you don’t want to.” She was still unable to meet Charity’s eye.

The landlady sighed. “Well it’s all ancient history now anyway. Yes, we were a thing. But it didn’t exactly have a happy ending.”

“And was it just a one-time thing, or have there been other women?” Vanessa had seen Charity with plenty of men, but never a woman.

“There’ve been a few one night stands over the years, but never anything very serious. Never anyone who stuck,” replied Charity honestly.

“So you like both? Men and women?” Ordinarily Vanessa wouldn’t have asked such bold questions to someone she didn’t know very well, but the few drinks she had already had at the pub combined with the bottle of wine they were currently working their way through meant that she was slightly less inhibited than usual.

“Well it’s not that big of a deal. It’s just sex.”

Vanessa had gone quiet, suddenly finding something very interesting about the hem of her dress, fiddling with it slightly. Charity regarded her curiously, unable to quite place her finger on what was going on here, her mind not quite as sharp as usual due to the wine consumed. It was like a crossword clue that she knew the answer to but couldn’t quite land on the exact word. The cogs continued to whir away in Charity’s brain and then suddenly everything fell into place. The stories she’d heard all those years ago about something going on between Vanessa and Rhona, that she’d dismissed at the time as idle gossip. Vanessa’s inability to hold down a relationship with a man for more than five minutes. Her sudden curiosity now about Charity’s dating history with women. It all made sense. Vanessa was gay.

“So does anyone else know?” asked Charity.

“Know what?” replied Vanessa as she looked up, slightly confused.

“That you’re gay.”

Vanessa held Charity’s stare, willing herself not to look away. She was panicking, not knowing how to respond. Fight or flight. For once in her life maybe she should just be honest about who she was. Whichever way she answered, she knew Charity already knew the truth. It was pointless denying it now. Sighing, she visibly deflated. “No. Nobody else knows.”

Defiance suddenly left Vanessa’s body and she was unable to stop herself from letting out a small sob. Her hand went to her mouth and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

For a moment Charity was at a loss as to what to do. She certainly wasn’t known for her empathy. And yet here was sweet, kind Vanessa before her, beyond upset. Charity found herself moving along the sofa to be closer to Vanessa and enveloped her in a hug. “Sshh, it’s ok,” Charity whispered in her ear. “I promise it’s going to be ok.”

Charity continued to hold her, stroking circles on her back as a comfort. The sobs began to subside and Vanessa slowly started to collect herself. They broke apart from the hug but remained close to one another.

As Vanessa wiped the remaining tears away, Charity looked at her searchingly. Vanessa had never realised quite how green Charity’s eyes were until this moment, full of what appeared to be concern. She had always thought Charity was attractive, and tonight for the first time she’d had a glimpse of something else underneath all the bravado, hints of kindness, and she’d liked what she’d seen.

Vanessa’s eyes dropped to Charity’s lips, then looked up again. Charity’s expression was unreadable but Vanessa thought she caught a flicker of desire in her eyes. Her gaze landed on Charity’s mouth again, and without really processing what she was doing, Vanessa found herself slowly leaning in. 

She was stopped by gentle hands on each shoulder. “Vanessa...” Charity trailed off. 

The vet was certainly easy on the eye, and somehow her tear-stained face made her even more beautiful, thought Charity. If the circumstances had have been different Charity wouldn’t have been averse to having a bit of fun with her. But the landlady had done many things in her life that she wasn’t proud of, and she wasn’t about to add to that list by taking advantage of an emotional and vulnerable woman on the wrong side of tipsy, who would likely regret it come the morning.

“You’re hurt and upset. You might want to have a think about that,” continued Charity softly. 

At this, Vanessa suddenly seemed to sober. ”Right,” she said, looking anywhere but at Charity. “You’re right. I should go, it’s late....” and she was already halfway to the door. She quickly put her shoes on and grabbed her jacket.

By this time Charity had caught up to her at the door. “Vanessa, you don’t have to go. You can stay and we can talk....”

She was interrupted by Vanessa. “No, Tracy will be wondering where I am,” and with that she opened the door and disappeared into the night without even saying goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and lovely comments - they really do act as a huge motivator - keep them coming! You've inspired me to keep going with this fic, and I've now got a much better idea of the direction I want to take it in.

Several days had passed since Vanessa had run out on Charity, and they hadn’t seen each other since. Charity suspected the vet was avoiding her, but there wasn’t really anything she could do about it. It would look weird if she went over to Tug Ghyll to check on her. And besides, it wasn’t like she cared.

Saturday evening found Charity working in the pub again. When Vanessa walked in just after 7pm, Charity felt a small wave of relief wash over her on seeing that she was okay. Perhaps she had been worried about her after all. But when Charity’s eyes landed on the man behind Vanessa, the same one from three nights ago, the landlady couldn’t hide her surprise.

Vanessa shot her a sheepish look, before the couple found themselves a free booth. Moments later as the man approached the bar, Charity let Chas serve him.

Charity spent most of the evening glaring in Vanessa’s direction. The vet would have preferred to have gone somewhere else for date number two, anywhere else in fact, but her date had found the pub ‘charming’ and insisted they come back. Vanessa was constantly on edge just waiting for Charity to let the cat out of the bag. She could practically feel the landlady’s eyes bore into her. And she felt completely exposed with Charity knowing her secret. How could she have been so stupid? To have confided in Charity Dingle of all people. A loose cannon, a ticking time bomb.

When it was Vanessa’s turn to get the drinks in, she waited until Charity was busy with a customer at the other end of the bar, then made a bee line for Chas. Just as Chas was about to take her order, Charity practically barged past her cousin.

“Vanessa! Hi! What can I get you?” Charity asked, ridiculously overenthusiastic.

Chas simply raised her eyebrows and left them to it.

Charity’s facade fell as soon as they were left alone. “Vanessa, this isn’t right. Surely you can see that. After the other night....”

“I was drunk. I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t thinking straight,” Vanessa said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah,” Charity scoffed. “Literally.”

The landlady poured the drinks, mouth set in a hard line.

“Charity, this is none of your business,” Vanessa practically hissed. “I’m begging you. Please don’t say anything.” The taller woman simply handed Vanessa her change with a scowl, before turning to the next customer.

Charity’s shift finished at 8pm and never had she been so pleased about it, unable to watch the charade that Vanessa was taking part in any longer. After a quick goodbye to Chas and one final glance over to Vanessa, she left and headed home.

***

Charity had spent the rest of her evening on the sofa flicking through the TV channels, occasionally settling on something before she got bored and started the process again. She was just starting to think about turning in for the night when she heard a knock on the door. She checked her watch. Noah was supposed to be staying at Wishing Well with Samson tonight but maybe he’d changed his mind.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Vanessa stood before her. Charity could tell she’d been crying, a look she’d become increasingly familiar with.

They just stared at one another for several seconds, neither of them speaking, before Vanessa broke the silence. “I know I don’t deserve it, but can I come in?” she asked in a tearful voice. Charity moved aside to let her through.

Vanessa awkwardly headed for the sofa, trying to compose herself, whilst Charity busied herself in the kitchen making them both a cup of coffee. She thought it best to avoid anything alcoholic after the mess it had caused a few nights ago.

“Thank you,” Vanessa said, breaking the uncomfortable silence as Charity handed her a mug.

“You gonna tell me what happened then?” asked Charity sullenly as she sat at the other end of the sofa, mirroring their positions from earlier in the week.

Vanessa sighed. “We left the pub and I kissed him. But I just felt like such a fraud. I put a stop to it.” Another tear escaped her eye which she quickly wiped away.

Charity suddenly panicked. “Wait, he didn’t try anything on with you did he? Something you weren’t comfortable with?”

“No, nothing like that,” reassured the vet. “He was really nice about it actually. Said he got the feeling that I wasn’t really into it. He left, and I came here.”

“And why was that?”

“I was upset. And you were the only person I could talk to,” replied Vanessa honestly.

Charity visibly softened. “Vanessa,” she began, in a gentle voice. “You don’t have to be scared. You can be gay. It’s fine.”

“It doesn’t feel fine,” she sniffed. “It’s not fine when I’m lying in bed at night, unable to sleep, with it just going round and round in my head. It doesn’t feel fine when I’m worrying about how people will react if I tell them, if they’ll treat me differently because of it. It’s not fine when I’m thinking about how if ever get a girlfriend, whether we’ll be able to walk down the street holding hands without people staring. It doesn’t feel fine when I’m wondering how when Johnny gets older and goes to school, if he’ll get teased and bullied by the other kids because of me. It’s the furthest thing from fine.”

Charity’s heart was full of sympathy for the vet. She’d had no idea as to the extent of her unhappiness. 

Vanessa continued. “It’s just so much easier not to be brave. If I say it out loud.....if I tell people I’m gay.....everything will change.”

“Yeah, it will. But have you ever considered that it might all change for the better? I know how it feels, to have to keep pieces of yourself hidden. To pretend to be someone you’re not.”

Vanessa suddenly felt guilty. What she was going through at the moment was nothing compared to the things Charity had had to face in her life.

Charity seemed not to notice and carried on regardless. “And it slowly eats away at you. Doesn’t part of you just want to be free of all that? Vanessa, I’m not saying you have to tell the world tomorrow, but you can’t ignore it either. Baby steps, yeah?”

Vanessa nodded slowly, seeming to find some kind of acceptance within herself. She sighed and gave Charity a tearful smile. “What am I gonna do now?”

“I dunno,” replied Charity in a reassuring voice. “Start living your life?”

“I wish I could be more like you,” said Vanessa wistfully. “And not care what people think.”

“Trust me babe, nobody wants to be like me.” And there it was again. A tiny glimpse under Charity’s armour, a hint of her insecurities. Vanessa was starting to wonder if any of the things she thought she knew about the landlady were true. But it only lasted for matter of seconds before the mask slipped back into place.

Vanessa decided to change the subject. “I’m sorry. About the other night. For trying to kiss you. I was upset, and you’d been so nice to me....”

Charity chuckled. “It’s ok, I understand. Hey, it’s an occupational hazard when you’re as irresistible as me.” The bravado was well and truly back.

Vanessa let out a genuine laugh, and for the first time in days her heart felt a little bit lighter. She was suddenly overcome by a wave of gratitude towards Charity. For listening. For not saying anything in the pub. For not judging her. For simply being the first person she’d come out to. And there was another feeling there too, something that felt good, in the pit of her stomach. Something she couldn’t quite put a name to. 

Vanessa looked at her watch and was surprised to realise how late it was. “I better be going,” she said as she stood up. When they both reached the door, Vanessa hesitated. “Thank you for tonight. It means a lot.”

Charity gave her a small smile in return. “Anytime, kid. Your secret’s safe with me. I promise.”

Vanessa didn’t yet know the landlady well enough to be sure of exactly what a promise from Charity Dingle was worth, but in this particular instance she trusted her. 

Vanessa was slightly surprised when Charity enveloped her in a hug. And somehow she felt so safe in the taller woman’s arms. It turned out Charity Dingle gave great hugs. Who would have thought it. As Vanessa walked home, she added that little piece information to the growing list of surprising things she had found out about Charity over the last few days.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all of your encouragement, your comments and kudos are appreciated!

Vanessa had taken Johnny to the children’s playground at the far end of the village in order for him to burn off a bit of energy. She’d spent some time pushing him on the swings, but when he seemed content to amuse himself on the other play things she’d retired to a nearby bench from where she could watch him.

From her peripheral vision Vanessa noticed a small child pass her, along with a happy shriek of, “Johnnnyyy.” It was Moses, she realised.

“This seat taken?” Vanessa looked up just in time to see Charity plonk herself down on the bench next to her.

Vanessa gave her a distant smile and a “Hiya,” by way of greeting.

“You looked a million miles away just then,” said Charity. She didn’t need to ask what the vet was thinking about. Vanessa had lived with her sexuality her whole life but had largely been able to ignore it, been able to put it to the back of her mind. But ever since Charity had guessed her secret, ever since Vanessa had finally admitted to it, it was suddenly all she could think about.

They watched the boys play together for a little while, and Charity could sense Vanessa was still occupied by her inner thoughts. The landlady decided to break the silence. “So, I’ve been thinking.” Vanessa turned to look at her, and Charity continued. “There’s a gay bar in Hotten that I sometimes go to. Haven’t been in a while and I figured I was due a return visit. I was thinking you could come with me if you like?”

Vanessa immediately panicked just at the thought of it. “Charity, the other day you said baby steps. I’m not even out. Going to a gay bar isn’t baby steps. It’s giant leaps.”

“Hey, calm down,” reassured Charity. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but just hear me out, ok?” Vanessa nodded for Charity to continue. “Nobody’s going to know you there. Nobody there will know if you’re in, out, gay, bi. I just thought it might be good for you to be amongst other gay people. That it might make you feel less isolated, give you a bit more confidence. It’d be a small step without having to tell anyone here in the village. And I’d be there with you. You never know, you might even meet someone you like. I could be your wing woman.”

Vanessa didn’t reply straight away. She watched Johnny, mulling it over. The thought of it made her feel sick. But at the same time, Charity also somehow made her feel brave. “Okay,” she said. “Baby steps.”

***

They had decided they would meet at Jacob’s Fold and then get a taxi to Hotten from there. When Charity answered the door, she allowed her eyes to give Vanessa a quick once over. She was wearing a figure hugging black dress that ended just above her knee, and a black leather jacket.

“Wow,” said Charity. “You’ll be fighting the women off tonight babe.”

Vanessa blushed. “Maybe,” she murmured. “If they can manage to take their eyes off you.” Charity was wearing black trousers that fitted perfectly, and a red low cut top. She had slightly more make up on than usual including a bright red shade of lipstick that matched her top, and her hair was curled to perfection. Vanessa felt her pulse quicken. But it was just because she was nervous about the gay bar she told herself. It had absolutely nothing to do with how Charity looked tonight.

Vanessa was quiet during the taxi ride. Charity was trying to make conversation with her to try to ease the smaller woman’s nerves, but it wasn’t really working. When they arrived Charity shoved some money in the taxi driver’s direction. 

Vanessa’s feet were firmly rooted to the spot a little way from the bar.

“You ready?” checked Charity.

“As I’ll ever be,” replied Vanessa, yet she still didn’t move.

Charity took her hand and gave it a small squeeze, before leading Vanessa inside. They made their way to the bar and Charity bought both of them a drink, hoping it would loosen Vanessa up a little. They made small talk over the sound of the music, and Charity would occasionally point out various women to Vanessa to try and gage what her type was, but it was always met with either a shake of her head or a small shrug.

They had been there around half an hour when Charity suddenly turned to Vanessa and said, “Hot brunette at twelve o’clock. I think she’s interested in you.”

Vanessa turned to look and she made eye contact with the woman in question, who gave her a smile. She was absolutely gorgeous. And she was heading straight towards them.

“Hi,” said the woman, giving Vanessa a quick wink. “I haven’t seen you around here before. Do you come here often?” Charity smiled to herself at the terrible pick up line before tactfully moving away, figuring it would be best to leave them to it. She watched on from a distance and Vanessa seemed to be doing okay. Charity stationed herself at the bar and she wasn’t short of admirers herself, but she would politely turn down any offers of drinks and send the women away. She was here to support Vanessa tonight, not to get lucky herself, and she wanted to keep a relatively clear head in case she was needed.

After about twenty minutes, Vanessa found Charity at the bar.

“So, how did it go?” asked Charity. They stood side by side looking out across the dance floor.

“It was okay,” replied the vet. “We chatted for a bit, but she wasn’t really my type.”

“Would have thought she was everyone’s type, babe. You sure you’re gay?” joked Charity.

“Yeah,” said Vanessa as her eyes discreetly raked over Charity’s body. “I’m sure.”

They both had another drink and mingled with a few people at the bar, but Charity sensed that things would go no further than that for Vanessa tonight and she didn’t want to push her. But the night was still young and Charity was in the mood to let her hair down a little bit. She looked at Vanessa until the other woman met her eye. 

“Dance with me?” asked Charity. 

Vanessa seemed reluctant. She hated dancing. “I’m a terrible dancer.”

“Come on,” pleaded Charity. “It doesn’t look like either of us are gonna pull tonight. We might as well enjoy ourselves. So let’s dance.” This time it seemed more of a command than a question.

Vanessa was quickly finding out that Charity was a hard woman to say no to. First she had agreed to come to the gay bar, and now against her better judgement she found herself being led towards the dance floor by the landlady.

They both started to move to the music a little way apart from each other, but Charity soon had to take half a step back to allow for Vanessa’s flailing arms. There seemed to be absolutely no correlation between the music and the movements of Vanessa’s body. “Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said dancing wasn’t really your thing,” Charity teased, which earned her a mock glare.

They carried on for a few more minutes before Charity decided to take pity on the vet. “Let me give you some tips, yeah?” she shouted over the music. “Just copy what I do,” and she moved closer to Vanessa. Charity moved so effortlessly, like dancing was second nature to her. Vanessa tried to mirror what the landlady was doing, but it just wasn’t working. “We’ll try one more thing,” shouted the taller woman.

Charity turned the vet around, so that Vanessa’s back was to Charity’s front. The taller woman’s hands landed on Vanessa’s hips and she moved her body closer so that they were nestled together. Vanessa let out an imperceptible gasp. “Just follow my lead, yeah,” Charity said in her ear so that she could be heard over the sound of the music, and Vanessa could feel Charity’s breath against her neck as she spoke. They both began to sway in time with the music, and Vanessa found it easy to fall into a rhythm with Charity. For want of anything better to do with her hands, she placed them over Charity’s where they had rested on her hips. As their bodies continued to move in perfect time with each other, Vanessa felt like the temperature was increasing and she was relieved that the landlady couldn’t see the blush on her face. Their bodies were pressed almost completely together from head to foot. Charity could feel the heat radiating from Vanessa’s body, could smell her perfume. The press and roll of Vanessa’s bum against the join of her legs was driving her to distraction and she could feel herself getting more and more turned on the longer the song went on. She wanted to touch more of Vanessa, wanted to let her hands wander, but at the same time she was willing herself not to give in. Aware that impulse control wasn’t one of her strengths, she knew that if she didn’t stop this now she’d do something she’d regret. And that would be pretty much the last thing Vanessa needed. As the song came to an end, Charity forced herself to put some space between them.

“Well, I’d definitely call that an improvement,” said Charity in as casual a tone as she could muster. “But I think it’s about time we call it a night. I’m on drayman duty in the morning so...”

“Yeah. Yeah, sounds like a plan,” replied Vanessa, still feeling more than a little bit flustered.

During the cab ride home, Charity replayed the evening’s events over in her mind. She put the arousal she felt whilst dancing with Vanessa down to a lack of sexual contact with anyone recently. There was definitely no deeper meaning to it than that.

They arrived back in the village. “I had fun tonight. You were right, it was good for me,” said Vanessa.

“Well I’m full of good ideas, me.” replied Charity cockily. 

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “You’re certainly full of something.” Charity pretended to be offended.

Vanessa turned serious. “But seriously though, thank you. Again.”

Charity gave her a quick nod in acknowledgement before they shared a quick hug, then the landlady watched Vanessa disappear inside Tug Ghyll.


	4. Chapter 4

Charity and Vanessa had seen each other a couple more times since the night they’d spent at the gay bar. They’d spent an evening together on Charity’s night off, and the following Saturday afternoon Vanessa had brought Johnny to Jacob’s Fold with her and whilst the boys played together, she and Charity had chatted. They largely kept their friendship private and always met at Charity’s – Vanessa didn’t want to have to face any awkward questions from Tracy about the origins of their unlikely friendship. They would talk about any number of things – how their days had been, the kids, the other villagers. If Vanessa wanted to talk about her sexuality Charity would listen, but the landlady would never push her or grow impatient at her inability to come out yet.

A Wednesday evening found Vanessa over at Jacob’s fold again. Charity placed a cup of tea down in front of the vet. “There you go, just how you like it – warm milk with a hint of tea.” Vanessa playfully swatted her arm. 

They were sitting in what had now become their normal places on the sofa.

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking....” said Vanessa.

“Careful there!” Charity was clearly in one of her bantering moods today. Vanessa just rolled her eyes.

“Can I ask you a hypothetical question?” Charity nodded her head for her to continue. “Hypothetically, if I was thinking of telling people about, you know...” She still struggled to say the words out loud but Charity knew what she meant. “Have you got any words of wisdom for me?”

Charity thought about the question for a few moments. She’d never had to do the big coming out speech herself. People either saw her with a man or woman on her arm, depending on who she was dating, and that was all that was necessary as far as she was concerned. There had never been a need for her to make a big announcement. But she knew Vanessa’s situation was different.

“Well, hypothetically speaking....I guess you should pick one person to start with. Someone you really trust, who you feel comfortable with. Rhona maybe?”

“Not Rhona,” Vanessa interrupted, a little too quickly.

Charity wondered if this had anything to do with those rumours she’d heard about something going on between the two of them all those years ago, but decided not to press the issue. “Well Tracy then?”

Vanessa seemed to be considering this. “But how do I do it? What do I even say? It’s not the kind of thing you just drop into conversation is it?”

“I don’t know. But I know you’ll find the right words. And she’ll be fine with it. The person who has the biggest problem with your sexuality is you.”

“Have you ever had a bad reaction?” asked the vet. 

“When people found out about me and Zoe, it turned out everyone was more interested in the fact that Zoe was my husband’s sister rather than the fact she was a woman. There’s been a few comments when I’ve been with other women but nothing major. There’ll always be the one idiot who has a problem with it, but on the whole people will be really supportive. Especially the people who care about you.”

They were interrupted by a sleepy Moses walking down the stairs rubbing his tired eyes. “What are you doing up Mister?” Charity asked him. She scooped him up in her arms and then turned back to Vanessa. “Tracy will understand. Think about it Ness,” said Charity, before carrying Moses back up to bed. 

Vanessa watched her disappear up the stairs. Wait, when did Charity start calling her Ness? She liked it.

***

A couple of days later Charity was pottering around the house when she was slightly startled by an insistent knocking on the door. When she opened it, she found a frantic looking Vanessa on the doorstep, who didn’t even wait to be invited in. The vet immediately began pacing up and down the living room.

Charity had no clue what was wrong. “Ness, what’s going on?” she asked.

“I’ve done something stupid. I didn’t think it through properly. What am I going to do?” She continued to pace whilst rubbing her temples slightly.

Having failed to get any kind of reasonable explanation, Charity gently grabbed Vanessa’s wrists. The vet suddenly stilled. Charity’s touch always seemed to ground her somehow. If Vanessa had have been in a better frame of mind, she might have stopped to wonder why that was.

“Vanessa, look at me,” Charity commanded soothingly. She waited until Vanessa met her eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

She was visibly calmer now. “I messaged Tracy on the spur of the moment. Told her that I had something important I needed to tell her. She’s on her way home now. She’ll be back in literally five minutes.”

Charity immediately realised what Vanessa was talking about. “Hey, this is a good thing. I promise. It’ll be fine.” As Charity rubbed comforting circles on the inside of Vanessa’s wrists, the vet almost believed her.

They heard the sound of Vanessa’s phone. She fished it out of her pocket and read the message. “She’s home,” she told Charity.

The taller woman gave Vanessa’s wrist a final squeeze before letting go. “You’ll walk it, kid, go on,” she said before giving her a soft wink. “And let me know how it goes, yeah?” Vanessa managed a small smile in return. How was it that Charity made her feel so fearless?

***

When Vanessa arrived back at Tug Ghyll, Tracy had made them both a cup of tea and was sitting at the small dining table waiting for her.

“Hi Vee, are you ok?” asked Tracy.

Vanessa puffed out her cheeks and replied, “No, not really,” in a small voice, before sitting down opposite her sister.

“Tracy,” she began nervously. “There’s something really important I need to tell you. Something that I’ve been hiding for a long time because I’ve been afraid and I’ve not had the courage to do it before now.”

“Vanessa, what is it? You’re scaring me.”

Vanessa was anxiously fiddling with her mug of tea but was too nervous to drink any of it. Charity flashed through her mind, her reassuring smile, her encouraging words. And it made her feel brave. She could do this.

“There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it.....” She took a deep breath and looked her sister in the eye. “The thing is....I’m gay.”

Tracy was silent for a moment. Vanessa searched her face for a reaction, but found nothing. She could literally hear her heart hammering in her chest. Tracy stood up and rounded the table, then wrapped Vanessa in a hug from behind and kissed her cheek. “I’m so proud of you Vanessa. I promise it doesn’t make the slightest bit of difference to me. I love you so much.”

Vanessa stood up so that they could hug properly. She let out a small sob and Tracy pulled away to look at her worriedly. “It’s okay, they’re happy tears,” Vanessa assured her.

After a few minutes they had both composed themselves and had sat back down at the table, actually able to drink their tea now.

“I’m so sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me,” the younger sister said. “And I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all of this on your own.”

“I haven’t had to deal with it on my own, not recently,” explained Vanessa. “Charity’s been helping me through it.”

Tracy couldn’t hide her surprise. “Charity? As in Dingle? Pub landlady, about five foot six, curly blonde hair? THAT Charity?”

“Yes Tracy.” Vanessa rolled her eyes. “And she’s been really good about it actually. Fantastic in fact. I’m not sure if I’d be sat here telling you if it hadn’t been for her.”

They carried on talking for a little while longer. As Tracy drained her tea, there was something she was curious about. “There’s one thing I don’t get. Out of all the people you could have chosen, how come it was Charity who knew first?”

“Right place, right time,” said Vanessa. “And I didn’t exactly tell her, she guessed. She’s been with women in the past so I suppose I set off her gaydar.”

“Charity’s been with women?” Tracy’s voice was a little higher pitched than normal. “How did I not know this?! I never would have guessed. If I’d have known she was interested in the fairer sex I might have...”

“Might have what?!” Vanessa interrupted. “You know what, I don’t want to know.”

“What? We’ve all got our girl crushes, Vee. She’s hot. And don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”

“Tracy! She’s my friend.” Vanessa blushed.

“Yeah, your hot friend. And that’s a deflection, not an answer,” said Tracy as she gave her sister a knowing smirk.

***

Charity felt nervous. When did she become the type of person who was nervous about other people’s problems? She knew Tracy would be fine if Vanessa managed to tell her, but she still felt slightly apprehensive. She’d been cleaning the bathroom to kill some time when she heard her mobile chime. She removed her rubber gloves and reached for her phone.

**Vanessa: I did it! And Tracy was fine. Feeling a little bit on cloud nine right now. Couldn’t have done it without you x ******

Charity grinned as she read it, then typed out a quick reply.

******Charity: So so proud of you babe. I knew you could do it x ******** **

***

Later that evening Tracy was in the pub with Leyla. Vanessa had remained at home with Johnny. Tracy had asked if she wanted her to stay in with her to keep her company, but the vet had insisted she go out and enjoy herself. Tracy had left Leyla at their table whilst she went to the bar to get the next round of drinks in. As Charity served her, neither of them mentioned Vanessa. It was only when Charity placed the drinks on the bar that Tracy gently grabbed for her arm. 

“Thank you Charity,” Tracy said meaningfully, whilst looking her in the eye.

“S’alright Trace, it’s only a couple of drinks. Which you’ve paid for. That’s generally how buying things works.”

“You know I don’t mean the drinks. Thank you for being there for Vanessa. It means so much to me that she had someone she could talk to. That she wasn’t dealing with everything alone. And I know it means the world to her too.”

Charity wasn’t good at accepting praise, so she just gave Tracy a small nod of acknowledgement before ducking her head, slightly embarrassed.

After Tracy had returned to her table, Charity allowed herself a small smile as she thought of Vanessa. She realised she’d been doing that a lot lately.

***

The following day Vanessa messaged Charity to let her know she’d come out to Rhona too.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a little over a week since Vanessa had come out to Tracy and Rhona, and she’d barely spoken to Charity in that time. They’d seen each other in the pub a couple of times but Charity was either busy with other customers, or she’d disappear into the back just when Vanessa thought they might have a chance to chat. Any text messages Vanessa sent were met with clipped responses or one word answers. Vanessa wouldn’t go so far as to say that Charity was avoiding her, but she was definitely being standoffish. And Vanessa was determined to get to the bottom of it. Because she missed the landlady. They hadn’t been friends for long but Charity had quickly become such an important person in her life.

When Charity opened the door to Vanessa at Jacob’s Fold, she seemed a little surprised to see the vet.

“Hey,” said Charity, then as an afterthought she added, “I’m really sorry babe but I’m literally just on my way out,” as she grabbed her coat from the hook.

Vanessa decided to call her bluff. “Okay, where are you going? I’ll come with you.”

Charity hesitated, her brain not quite quick enough to bail herself out with an excuse.

Vanessa sighed. “Charity, you’ve got no shoes on, no handbag. You’re not on your way out. You’ve been avoiding me and I want answers.”

The vet invited herself in and closed the door behind her, then took Charity’s hand and led her to the sofa.

“Charity, what’s going on?” Vanessa pleaded softly. “You’ve barely said two words to me over the last week. Have I done something wrong?”

Charity immediately felt guilty that her actions had caused the smaller woman to think she was to blame, and she relented. “You’ve not done anything Ness,” she said in a small voice. “I guess I just assumed that now you’ve told Tracy and Rhona that you’re gay, you wouldn’t need me anymore.”

On the rare occasions Charity’s insecurities made their way to the surface, it really was like looking at a completely different person to the woman in the pub so full of confidence. After all the support Charity had given her, it broke Vanessa’s heart a little bit to think that the landlady felt that way. 

“Charity, you’re the first person I ever came out to. Do you think that’s something I’ll ever forget? If you knew how much that meant to me....” Vanessa’s voice cracked slightly with emotion. “We’re friends. Do you think that I’d suddenly just drop you?”

Charity gave a small shrug. “I just thought I’d probably served my purpose.”

“Nothing’s changed. I still need you. And I like just spending time with you. Even when I’m not having some kind of mid-life crisis.”

Charity was looking brighter already. “Really?” she asked hopefully.

“Really,” assured Vanessa.

Charity looked up and couldn’t help the smile that was tugging at her lips. Just a few words from the vet had made her feel better almost instantly. And now Vanessa was looking back at her with a soft expression on her face. They held each other’s gaze for a moment too long and the atmosphere suddenly felt a little bit awkward. Clearing her throat, Charity got up. “Tea?” she offered.

When Charity returned with two mugs a few minutes later, they easily slipped back into their normal chit-chat.

“So what’s new?” Charity asked.

Vanessa looked skyward. “Tracy’s set me up on a date. With David’s accountant. Amanda.” She covered her eyes.

Charity felt a sudden pang in the pit of her stomach, but she tried to keep her voice even. “And that’s a bad thing why?”

“I just don’t know if I’m ready. And what if I actually like her. What if things.....progress? I’ve never.....you know.....with a woman before. I won’t know what I’m doing.” Vanessa blushed and avoided Charity’s eye.

“Hey. First of all you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. Take things one step at a time. Second of all, when the time is right I promise it’ll all come naturally to you.”

Charity always made things sound so simple, always made her feel better about everything.

“Anyway,” said Vanessa, changing the subject slightly. “The date is on Saturday and we’re going to the pub. Will you be working? It’d be nice to have a bit of moral support.”

“Sorry babe, it’s my night off. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want me cramping your style anyway.”

Vanessa tried not to show her disappointment.

***

On Saturday night Vanessa nervously approached the pub. She was meeting Amanda inside at seven o’clock but she was a little bit early. She took a deep breath, opened the door, and walked in. She immediately saw Charity stood behind the bar and as their eyes met, Vanessa’s face lit up.

She made her way over to the landlady and still smiling, said. “I thought you weren’t working tonight?”

“I swapped my shift didn’t I. So, moral support at your service!”

“Aawww thank you.” Vanessa was touched that Charity had gone to such effort just because she’d mentioned that it would be good to have her there.

“So how are you feeling?” asked the taller woman.

“Nervous. Do I look alright?”

Charity gave her what she hoped was a nonchalant once over, and if her eyes lingered for a fraction of a second too long at the curve of her hip and the swell of her breasts, it was simply so she could give an informed opinion. “You look gorgeous,” Charity replied sincerely. Vanessa blushed. “Anyway, someone’s eager,” the landlady said as she tilted her head towards a woman sitting in a corner booth. “Been here half an hour already. How about you go join her and I bring your drink over?”

“Wish me luck,” Vanessa murmured, before walking towards Amanda.

After Charity had delivered the drinks, she couldn’t stop herself from shooting curious glances in the direction of Vanessa and Amanda every so often. But the more she watched them, the more she couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling inside. She quickly realised it was jealousy. Because Vanessa was obviously attractive, but these last few weeks as their friendship had grown Charity had also felt something else stirring within her, something that seemed very similar to actual feelings. But she knew she had to ignore them. Because Vanessa needed her as a friend, nothing more. And the vet deserved better than her anyway.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Paddy.

“Is that Vanessa? On a date? With-with a w-woman?” His voice had gone slightly higher pitched than usual.

Charity rolled her eyes. “There are two parts in answer to that. First part – so what if she is, we’re not all still living in the nineteenth century like you Paddy. Second part – mind your own business.” Charity knew he wouldn’t have a problem with it, but the last thing Vanessa needed was for him to be gossiping about her.

Part way through the evening Tracy had arrived at the pub and in the absence of anyone else to drink with, she stationed herself at the bar chatting away to Charity. Tracy had quickly become a Charity Dingle fan ever since she learned how the landlady had supported Vanessa. About half an hour later they watched as Vanessa and Amanda stood up and hugged each other, before Amanda left. Vanessa made her way over to the two blondes figuring she may as well deal with the inquisition all in one go and get it over with.

Tracy was brimming with excitement. “So how did it go? Are you seeing her again?”

“I don’t think so Tracy. She was lovely but there was absolutely zero chemistry, we had nothing in common.”

Charity tried to hide the relief she felt. Tracy looked crestfallen.

The pub was relatively busy, so Vanessa and Tracy left the landlady to it and returned to the booth vacated by Vanessa and her date.

As Vanessa sipped her drink, her eyes followed Charity almost constantly as she worked the bar. The vet still had trouble aligning the Charity that the rest of the world saw – the snarky comments, the hard-as-nails exterior – with ‘her Charity’ – her caring side, her attentiveness, her patience. There was no doubt in Vanessa’s mind anymore as to which version was the real Charity. She’d asked her about it once. The landlady had explained how she was trying to be a better mum to her kids, was trying to be a better person in general, but that it was hard when everyone always saw the worst in her, so she just carried on with that persona.

Tracy was watching her sister carefully. “You should tell her.”

Vanessa dragged her eyes away from the landlady. “Hmm?”

“You should tell Charity how you feel.”

Vanessa didn’t bother even trying to deny it, because she knew Tracy would see straight through it. And Tracy was right about her feelings. Vanessa’s eyes returned to Charity. She could blame their nearly-kiss that first night on a mixture of alcohol and being upset. And the arousal she felt when dancing with Charity at the gay bar she had put down to pure and simple lust. But what she’d been feeling recently, what she was feeling right now – that went so much deeper. The way warmth would spread through her whenever they were together, the tingling sensation she got from even the most innocent of touches from Charity, the way her heart would skip a beat every time she saw the landlady. Vanessa knew she was well and truly falling for Charity Dingle.

Vanessa turned back to Tracy. “It’s pointless. She doesn’t see me in that way.”

“Oh come on Vee. You haven’t been through everything you have over the last few months, being brave enough to come out, only to have to go back to hiding your feelings all over again. And you never know, she might surprise you.”

Oblivious to what they were talking about, Charity somehow chose that exact moment to look over to where Vanessa was sitting. Their eyes met and Charity gave the vet a soft smile and a wink. Vanessa tried to push down the hope that blossomed in her chest.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the lovely people who continue to leave comments and kudos - it really does mean the world :)

It had become a regular occurrence that Charity and Vanessa would spend Wednesday evenings together as it was Charity’s night off, and this week was no different. Tracy was looking after Johnny, and Vanessa found herself in what had become the familiar surroundings of the living room at Jacob’s Fold.

“It’s quiet here tonight,” Vanessa said as Charity fixed them both a drink. “No kids?”

“No, not tonight. Noah’s over at Wishing Well with Samson, Moses is with Ross, and Sarah’s visiting Debbie in Scotland.”

“Thank you for the other night in the pub by the way,” said Vanessa, changing the subject. “I heard what you said to Paddy, telling him to mind his own business when he was asking about me and Amanda.”

“Anytime.” Charity smiled at the vet. “I quite enjoyed telling him to get lost. That man is the biggest gossip in the village. And you shouldn’t take any notice of what people say about you anyway.”

Over the last few days Charity had found herself thinking about Vanessa almost constantly. Ever since she had admitted to herself how she felt, she was all she could think about. But with it came negative thoughts. How she wasn’t good enough for the vet. And Vanessa deserved to be happy. So Charity had resolved to help her with that. And that is how she had convinced Vanessa to set up an online dating profile.

When Charity brought their drinks over, they sat together on the sofa. Instead of sitting in their usual positions either end of the sofa, tonight they sat closer, side by side in the middle, their shoulders touching. They were both leaning over Vanessa’s phone, scrolling through a number of prospects on her dating profile. Vanessa really didn’t have much enthusiasm for the whole idea, mostly due to her increasing feelings for Charity, but she’d gone along with it to keep the landlady happy. For every woman that Charity suggested, Vanessa had an excuse as to why they wouldn’t work out. Charity could sense Vanessa’s heart wasn’t in it and after a few more minutes of trying, she locked the vet’s phone and handed it back to her.

Charity turned to face Vanessa. “Ness, I know you well enough now to know when something’s wrong. What’s going on? First the woman at the gay club, then your blind date, now all these people online. You’re finding fault with all of them. How can I be your wing woman if you won’t tell me what you’re thinking? It’s me you’re talking to here.”

Vanessa looked at Charity for a long moment. “I guess the trouble is, none of them quite measure up.”

Charity was confused, her brow furrowed slightly. “Measure up to what? To who? Wait, we’re not talking about Rhona are we?”

“No, not Rhona.” Vanessa paused. Tracy’s words from a few nights ago were running through her head. It was time to be brave. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest. Now or never. “None of them quite measure up to you.”

Vanessa watched as realisation gradually dawned on Charity’s face. And then the landlady was looking back at her like she might feel the same, and it was like all the air had been sucked out of the room. They both slowly leaned in, like some invisible force was drawing them towards one another. Their lips met in a soft, warm caress, and it was like the world stopped turning. Their lips continued to move together gently and unhurried, neither of them pushing for more. Vanessa distantly thought that this was the softest kiss she’d ever experienced. She pulled back slightly, needing to be sure that Charity wanted this as much as she did. The shy smile she saw told her everything she needed to know. The taller woman’s hand gently caressed Vanessa’s cheek as their lips met again. Kissing Charity felt better than she ever could have imagined. Charity could feel Vanessa’s lips forming a smile as she kissed her. The landlady’s fingers settled at the nape of Vanessa’s neck and her thumb gently stroked along her jaw. As Charity’s tongue traced along Vanessa’s bottom lip, the vet let out a small moan and opened her mouth granting Charity access. Vanessa’s hands tangled in the landlady’s blonde curls, trying to pull her impossibly closer. The kisses grew deeper, more passionate, more desperate. Charity explored Vanessa’s mouth with reverence and tenderness, and Vanessa let out a soft sigh of satisfaction. Weeks of sexual tension had finally culminated in this. 

Their kisses seemed to go on forever and were becoming increasingly heated. At some point their positions had changed, with Vanessa’s head against one arm of the sofa, and Charity practically lying on top of her. They were making out like a couple of teenagers and the intensity continued to grow. Charity wanted to touch Vanessa all over. Her hands had started to wander, but she made sure they stuck to strictly PG-rated areas only. But it was getting harder and harder. She knew Vanessa was inexperienced, and the vet had voiced her worries to Charity about the physical side of things just last week on this very sofa. Charity was getting more and more turned on, and she knew Vanessa was too if the little noises she was making were anything to go by. So the landlady knew she had to slow things down.

It took all of Charity’s will power to finally pull away. When Vanessa actually whimpered at the loss of contact, the taller woman’s resolve almost shattered there and then. Charity’s eyes were still hooded as she tried to get her breathing under control. Sitting up completely, she opened her eyes and tried to get her thoughts in order.

“Ness, I care about you a lot. And I want this, want you, so much. Which is why I want to do this right. We should take things one step at a time, not rush it. Take things slow.”

Vanessa was looking at her with a soft expression on her face, which Charity couldn’t help but mirror. And there was that feeling again, in the pit of her stomach. It felt warm and nice, and had somehow overtaken the arousal.

“You’re right,” replied Vanessa quietly. “Who would have thought it, Charity Dingle the voice of reason.”

They were still close enough to allow Charity to give the vet a playful poke in response.

And then Charity was looking at Vanessa like she wanted to kiss her again. Vanessa involuntarily bit her lip as her gaze lowered to Charity’s mouth, and she knew if she didn’t leave now she never would.

Vanessa cleared her throat. “I should probably get going.”

“Yeah,” murmured Charity, though she didn’t sound convinced.

They both got up, holding hands as they made their way to the door, like they couldn’t bear to not be touching in some way.

When they reached the door, neither of them moved to open it. Charity brushed a strand of hair away from Vanessa’s face, and then she couldn’t resist leaning in until their already swollen lips met again, kissing the smaller woman thoroughly. Being kissed by Charity Dingle was definitely Vanessa’s new favourite thing. They parted for breath, resting their foreheads together.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” checked Vanessa.

“Definitely.”

Vanessa opened the door and after one final peck on the lips, she left. Charity shut the door then leaned against it, smiling to herself like an idiot.

Less than a minute had passed before there was a knock on the door. Charity opened it, and had to take a step back as Vanessa surged towards her, capturing her in a kiss. The vet kicked the door shut and had Charity pushed against the wall in no time, pinning her hands either side of her head. They parted when oxygen became a necessity. Vanessa released Charity’s wrists, then took both hands in hers when her arms returned to her sides.

“Charity,” she began breathlessly. “I don’t want to take things slow. I’ve wasted enough of my life already, denying what I want. If we wait, it won’t change how I feel. I’m ready now. I want you. Tonight. If you want me too?”

Charity’s eyes seemed to turn a deeper shade of green. “As if you even need to ask,” she murmured. But she liked that Vanessa HAD asked. Because nobody had ever stopped to check if it was what she wanted before. It was always just assumed that she was up for it. Or worse, they simply didn’t care either way. And that was what was so different about Vanessa. The chemistry was undeniable, but so was the undercurrent of feelings. She actually cared about Charity. And that made Charity want her even more.

Charity kissed Vanessa again, slowly, deeply. Until Vanessa’s legs felt like they might give out. That was the effect the landlady had on her. Then Charity gently took Vanessa’s hand and led her upstairs.

Their hands broke apart as Charity firmly closed the bedroom door behind them, and they used the opportunity to fully take each other in. Vanessa seemed a little tense. Maybe some of the adrenaline had worn off during the slow walk up the stairs. And Charity needed to make absolutely sure that this was what Vanessa wanted. Before they crossed a line that couldn’t be uncrossed.

“Ness, you seem nervous,” said Charity softly.

Vanessa gave her a shy smile. “It’s a good kind of nervous.” Because it was scary, but exciting at the same time. And it kind of felt like she was about to lose her virginity all over again, but there was no person she’d rather do that with than Charity.

They had gravitated closer together again and Charity was absentmindedly rubbing small circles over the insides of Vanessa’s wrists with her thumbs. She desperately wanted to kiss the smaller woman again, but this was important. She looked Vanessa in the eye. “If you want to stop at any time, just say the words.”

“I will, I promise,” reassured Vanessa, before leaning forward to kiss Charity. Vanessa used her tongue to part Charity’s lips, and their tongues moved against each other slowly. Charity’s hands were around Vanessa’s back, but then started to wander, eventually using them to untuck the vet’s shirt. Charity deepened the kiss, whilst her hands simultaneously undid the buttons on Vanessa’s top with practiced ease. Reaching the last one, she gently pushed the shirt off the vet’s shoulders. 

Vanessa found the hem of Charity’s top and lifted it over her head, discarding it so they were stood before each other in their bras. Vanessa’s eyes couldn’t help but fall to Charity’s chest, and her eyes darkened with desire. 

Charity claimed Vanessa’s lips again before lowering her mouth to her neck, but never staying in one place long enough to leave a mark. The trail of kisses continued down her sternum, between the apex of her breasts, and to her stomach, until Charity was kneeling before Vanessa. Her hands gently popped the button on her jeans and lowered the zip, before she slowly peeled the jeans down Vanessa’s legs. The vet stepped out of them, and Charity ran her hands up the outside of the vet’s now bare legs, causing her to shiver. The landlady leaned forward and slowly kissed Vanessa’s stomach with an open mouth. Vanessa’s head fell back as she let out a moan, and she didn’t know how she remained standing. She didn’t think she had ever been this turned on in her whole life, and they’d barely even started. 

Charity got back to her feet and quickly removed her own jeans. Vanessa was drinking in the sight of an almost naked Charity. “You’re so beautiful,” she said, her voice filled with awe.

They were drawn together again, and Vanessa let herself be kissed thoroughly. Her hands were resting on Charity’s hips before she started to gently drag her nails up the taller woman’s sides and across her back. Vanessa surprised herself with her own confidence as she undid the clasp on Charity’s bra and removed it. The landlady took this as her cue to do the same with Vanessa’s. Charity’s mouth had moved to Vanessa’s neck. She found her pulse point and realised just how much the smaller woman’s heart was racing. Without breaking contact, she slowly manoeuvred Vanessa backwards towards the bed. The vet felt the mattress against the back of her knees and then quickly found herself sitting on the edge of the bed with Charity stood between her legs. She looked up at the landlady before realising she was at the perfect height. She was unable to resist. She leaned forward and without over thinking things, took Charity’s left nipple into her mouth. The taller woman couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her mouth. Vanessa began to lick and suck whilst her hand massaged the other breast. Charity’s head tipped back and her hands went to the smaller woman’s head, holding her in place.

Charity could feel herself getting more and more lost in the moment, but then she remembered she was the experienced one, it was her who was supposed to be taking the lead. With fingers under Vanessa’s chin, she gently tilted the vet’s head upwards and then leaned down to capture her in a heated kiss. Vanessa inched further up the bed and Charity followed, practically lying on top of her as they continued to kiss deeply.

Charity started to kiss a trail down Vanessa’s body, pausing at her breasts and taking the left one into her mouth, swirling her tongue over the hard nipple. She then repeated the action on the right. She continued down Vanessa’s stomach and stopped when her hands reached her knickers. Charity looked up and caught Vanessa’s eyes waiting for permission. The vet gave her a small nod, and Charity slowly removed the item of underwear before also getting rid of her own. Then she peppered kisses the length of Vanessa’s body, from her calves, to the outside of her thighs, up over her hips and chest, until their lips met again. Charity licked into the vet’s mouth.

Vanessa was beyond aroused. Charity’s hands were everywhere; caressing her breasts, skirting up and down her hips, and stroking her stomach. Charity’s hand stilled on the inside of Vanessa’s thigh and she broke away from their kisses.

“Ness, are you absolutely sure?”

Vanessa was breathless. “I’ve never been more sure.”

Charity smiled a genuine smile. Vanessa finally felt Charity’s hand where she needed it most and at the same time her mouth was captured in a kiss, stifling her moan. Charity carefully stroked her fingers over and around Vanessa’s clit with varying amounts of pressure, testing how she responded to each touch. Vanessa’s back was arching slightly, her head tipped back, giving Charity’s lips easy access to her neck. Charity’s fingers continued their ministrations, working the smaller woman higher and higher, before they moved further downwards, teasing slightly at Vanessa’s entrance. The vet let out a low moan as she felt two long fingers slide inside. Charity was stroking Vanessa’s inside walls, curling her fingers, hitting all the right places, and repeating the action over and over again with gentle thrusts. Vanessa could feel herself rapidly approaching her climax, and when Charity flicked her thumb over her clit, she cried out in pleasure as her orgasm washed over her. She repeatedly clenched around Charity’s fingers, and the landlady subtly drew out her orgasm with gentle strokes. 

Vanessa’s body finally went limp. “That was.....wow,” said the vet, still trying to catch her breath. 

Charity looked pleased with herself. She continued to softly kiss Vanessa until her heart beat returned almost to a normal rate. But then the kisses turned more urgent again, and Charity had only one thing on her mind. Her tongue traced a line down the vet’s neck, chest, and lower.

“Charity?” Vanessa questioned, before her brain caught up with what was happening.

Charity was more than aware this was Vanessa’s first time with a woman, and she’d be damned if she wasn’t going to give her the full experience. But it was for selfish reasons too, because she was desperate to taste the smaller woman.

Vanessa watched as Charity descended lower and lower until she reached her destination. The landlady carefully positioned herself between Vanessa’s legs, opened them a little wider, and hooked the vet’s left leg over her shoulder. She kissed the inside of her thigh indecently, with an open mouth, and Vanessa could feel herself practically throbbing with arousal.

Charity quickly glanced up at Vanessa to check she was ready, and the desperate look on her face told her everything she needed to know. After a torturous pause, Vanessa finally felt Charity’s tongue on her, dragging through her folds and up to her clit. Her head fell back and she let out a strangled cry. Charity was alternating between dipping her tongue into Vanessa’s centre and softly tracing circles around and over her clit, being mindful that the vet was still sensitive from her earlier orgasm. Vanessa was writhing on the bed, hands clenching in the sheets, and letting out small whimpers. Charity was steadily increasing the pressure with her tongue and Vanessa wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

“Charity,” pleaded the vet desperately. “Please.”

Charity gave Vanessa’s clit one final stroke using the flat of her tongue, then took it fully into her mouth and sucked hard. That was all it took to tip the smaller woman over the edge again and she screamed as spasms ripped through her body. Charity carefully worked her through it with feather light strokes of her tongue.

As Vanessa’s body stilled, Charity ascended her body, peppering a trail of kisses in her wake. Vanessa still hadn’t regained the ability to form a coherent sentence so instead captured Charity in a messy kiss, tasting herself on her lips. The intensity slowly subsided and Charity nuzzled into the crook of Vanessa’s neck. The vet was slowly starting to regain her composure. “That was amazing,” she said. “You were amazing. I’ve never felt that way in my whole entire life.”

Vanessa desperately wanted to return the favour, to make Charity feel as good as she had. She pushed the landlady onto her back and leaning over her, kissing her thoroughly. Charity’s eyes were hooded, and she let out a small moan as Vanessa’s hands squeezed her breasts. The vet’s hand went lower and rested just below the taller woman’s belly button, rubbing slow circles there. Charity could see where this was going. “Ness, you don’t have to,” she said. And she meant it, she really did, but she was praying Vanessa would ignore her words because she was absolutely aching to be touched.

“I want to. I want to make you feel as amazing as I did. It’s just....I don’t know what I’m doing. I might need a little help.”

Charity was biting her lip, trying to control her breathing. “Ness, have you got any idea what you do to me?” When she was met with no reply, she slowly took Vanessa’s hand and guided it to her core. When Vanessa felt how wet she was, she let out a small gasp. “You did that Ness, it’s all because of you.”

That seemed to act as the confidence boost Vanessa needed, and she slowly started moving her fingers, gently trailing them over Charity’s clit. Vanessa watched Charity carefully, trying to gage how she responded to being touched in different places and with varying amounts of pressure. And she was obviously doing something right if Charity’s small moans were anything to go by.

Vanessa kissed her hungrily, pushing her tongue into Charity’s mouth. As the taller woman’s hips grinded upwards, Vanessa took the hint and applied more pressure to the circles she was rubbing over Charity’s clit. Vanessa’s lips moved to the landlady’s neck. Charity was offering little words of encouragement every now and then. “Yes,” and “Oh God,” interspersed with low whines. She could feel herself approaching her peak. “Ness,” she pleaded, “I need you inside.”

Vanessa’s fingers moved to Charity’s entrance, and she gently pushed them fully inside. The landlady moaned in pleasure. Vanessa began to set a slow rhythm, amazed at how soft and warm the taller woman felt. “Charity, you feel so good,” she whispered in her ear.

Vanessa altered the angle of her hand slightly and she started to pick up the pace, stroking Charity’s inside walls. The tips of her fingers found a particular sensitive spot, leading Charity to cry out, “Yes, right here. God Ness, don’t stop.” Vanessa obliged. And then with one final thrust and a curl of her fingers, the smaller woman sent Charity crashing over the edge. Vanessa was completely intoxicated as she felt Charity clenching around her fingers and watched her completely fall apart at her hands.

Charity pulled Vanessa closer and kissed her breathlessly. As the aftershocks began to subside, Vanessa carefully withdrew her fingers. “Was it alright?” she asked shyly.

“Ness, God, it was more than bloody alright,” replied Charity dreamily. “Flippin’ fantastic more like. If that was your first time with a woman, I can’t wait to find out how good you’ll be with a bit of practice.”

Vanessa blushed, and then snuggled into Charity’s side. They were both exhausted. Vanessa’s eyes began to droop and the last thing she remembered before she fell asleep was Charity gently pressing a kiss to her forehead.


	7. Chapter 7

As Vanessa slowly woke up, the first thing she became aware of was a warm pair of arms holding her from behind. Eyes still closed, she smiled as memories from the night before came flooding back to her.

Charity had been awake for the last fifteen minutes but had been content not to move, enjoying the warmth of Vanessa in her arms. When Charity heard the shift in Vanessa’s breathing, she knew the vet had woken up. She nuzzled into the back of the smaller woman’s neck. “Morning sleeping beauty,” she said, voice still thick with sleep.

“Good morning,” Vanessa replied whilst stroking the landlady’s arm. Charity could hear the smile in her voice. 

Vanessa stretched slightly and her body ached pleasantly from the previous night’s exertions. She turned in Charity’s arms so that they were facing each other, soft smiles mirrored in each other’s faces. Charity leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Vanessa’s lips.

“Last night was....” Vanessa trailed off, blushing.

“Mmmhmm, yep it was, wasn’t it,” replied Charity, with a grin plastered on her face.

“I can’t believe I wasted forty four years of my life denying myself that."

“Well,” started Charity suggestively. “We could always make up for lost time.”

Vanessa’s eyes darkened with desire as she crawled on top of the landlady, pressing her to the mattress and kissing her hungrily.

***

Neither of them had to be at work until later in the morning, so they had taken their time with each other. Once they had finally managed to leave one another alone long enough to get dressed, Charity had offered to walk Vanessa home, not quite ready to say goodbye to the vet just yet.

They were leaving Jacob’s Fold just as Tracy and Rhona were heading to the playground with Johnny and Leo. Johnny was the first to spot them, and his excited shriek of, “Mummy!” turned all the attention to Vanessa and Charity. Tracy’s eyes immediately honed in on the couple’s linked hands, and she practically squealed with excitement, but Rhona’s expression was unreadable. Vanessa gave them all a shy smile.

“I better go join them and relieve Tracy of babysitting duties,” Vanessa said to Charity. “Do you want to join us?”

Charity was touched, but her shift was due to start in ten minutes. “I would’ve loved to, but I’m needed at the pub.”

Vanessa gave Charity’s hand a squeeze and lent up on tip toes to place a quick kiss to the landlady’s cheek, before joining Johnny and the others at the playground. Charity walked to work with a huge grin on her face.

***

The following day, Vanessa and Rhona had decided to go to the pub for their lunch break mainly due to Vanessa’s insistence. Charity was working, and her and Vanessa spent most of the time gazing across the pub at one another with heart eyes.

Vanessa’s bubble was burst by Rhona. “She’s trouble.”

Vanessa looked at her friend and sighed. “She’s fun, it’s fun. She makes me laugh, I’m happier when she comes into the room, you know. My heart, it beats a bit faster.” Rhona seemed unconvinced, but Vanessa continued regardless. “She’s different to how most of the world sees her. I don’t want to fall out with you over this.”

Rhona held her hands up in defeat. “Okay, if that’s what you want I won’t say another word.”

Vanessa checked her watch. “Right, I’m due up at Butler’s Farm to check over some of Moira’s cows. Are you coming or....?”

“I’ll just stay and finish my drink. My next appointment isn’t for another half an hour.”

Vanessa gave Charity a small wave and a smile as she left. She wasn't out to the other villagers yet so they were trying to keep things low key for the time being.

Rhona gave it a few minutes, then approached the bar. “Charity can I have a word? Out the back?” Charity’s eyebrows rose, they weren’t exactly friends. “It’s about Vanessa. It’s important.” The landlady relented and Rhona followed her through to the back.

Charity felt slightly on edge. “What’s this about, Rhona? I haven’t got all day.”

“Stay away from Vanessa,” the vet said bluntly.

Charity’s hackles were well and truly on the rise. “Well it’s a bit late for that. In fact it’s two days too late to be precise. And Vanessa certainly didn’t seem to be complaining.”

“I mean it Charity, this isn’t some joke.”

“What is this? You don’t want her, but you don’t want anyone else to have her either? That’s right, I know all about the little tongue twister you had with her.” Charity couldn’t resist sticking the boot in. 

Rhona ignored the barb. “Vanessa is kind and gentle, and deserves someone who will make her happy. Do you really think the person to do that is you? You’ll break her heart. She’s too good for you. Too good for an ex-prostitute. And you know it.”

Rhona had cut straight to the heart of all Charity’s insecurities, but the landlady refused to give her the satisfaction of showing it. “I think you should go.”

Rhona gave her a small nod. “If you genuinely care about her, you’ll let her go.”

***

Charity had given herself some thinking time, some breathing space. She’d stayed away from Vanessa for a couple of days, trying to figure out the best thing to do. But the more she thought about Rhona’s words, she more she knew she was right. Vanessa was too good for her. Her track record spoke for itself; she ruined everything, everyone, she touched. And she cared about Vanessa too much to do the same to her. So it was best to end it now. Before either of them got in too deep. If it wasn’t too late for that already. Before she could lose her nerve, she typed out a quick text message.

**Charity: I need to see you. Can I come over? x**

**Vanessa: Sure. Tracy’s out. Pop over when you’re ready x ******

***

When Charity arrived at Tug Ghyll, Vanessa greeted her with a soft smile. As soon as the door was closed, Vanessa gently kissed Charity, and the landlady melted. Charity had told herself that she wouldn’t do this, that she wouldn’t allow herself a last kiss because it would only make things harder, but she was powerless to resist Vanessa. The kiss became more desperate and Charity tried to commit the feeling of Vanessa’s lips to memory.

It took everything Charity had in her to pull away, knowing it would be the last kiss. Their foreheads rested together for a few moments, Charity’s eyes still shut. With a sinking feeling, she turned around, not opening her eyes again until she was facing away from Vanessa.

“Ness, we need to talk.” Somehow Charity found the courage to turn back and face Vanessa, and she immediately saw concern written on the vet’s face. She ploughed on regardless. “The other night, it was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.”

Vanessa was looking at her as though she’d been kicked to the stomach. “Charity, what’s going on? Has someone said something to you? I know you don’t mean that.”

“Vanessa, look. It was a bit of fun. You told me how you felt about me, and I took advantage of that. I shouldn’t have and I’m sorry. So it ends now.” Charity knew it would be easier for Vanessa if she was angry at her rather than sad.

Vanessa’s eyes turned a watery blue, and tears escaped from her eyes. “I know my feelings aren’t one sided. I know you feel it too. I’ve seen the way you look at me. This is the you that you let the rest of the world see. I’ve seen the real you. And this isn’t it.”

Charity was desperately trying to hold herself together, to carry on with as much indifference as she could muster. “I turned over a new leaf, I didn’t get a lobotomy. This is who I am. This is what I do. I mess things up.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“It’s for the best.”

Vanessa seemed to realise she wasn’t going to change Charity’s mind. She tried to stifle a small sob. “I can’t go back to being just your friend, not after what happened between us, not with how I feel about you.”

Charity tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “I know babe,” she said sadly. They looked at each other for a long moment. Even like this, with tears streaming down her cheeks and mascara running, Charity thought Vanessa was the most beautiful person she’d ever seen. It broke her heart. “I’m sorry. Goodbye Ness.”


	8. Chapter 8

They hadn’t seen each other in over a week. Vanessa had avoided the pub, and Charity had stayed away from anywhere she thought he vet might be. They both missed one another. The thing that was getting Charity through it was the knowledge that the vet was better off without her. But Vanessa didn’t feel better off without her. She missed their talks, the way Charity would always make her feel better when she was feeling low. She missed their hugs and Charity’s little reassuring touches. She missed her smile. She missed their friendship. She missed their kisses that she had so quickly become addicted to. She just missed Charity full stop. Charity was equally as miserable. Vanessa had quickly become a bright spot in her life, her ‘Little Miss Sunshine.’ Chas had noticed Charity’s unhappiness and had tried to probe her about it, but she’d remained tight-lipped.

***

Vanessa and Rhona were having a coffee at the cafe. It had been Rhona’s idea in order to get her friend out of the house and hopefully cheer her up. When Charity and Chas walked through the door, Vanessa’s attention was immediately drawn to the blonde. Their eyes met which completely stopped Charity in her tracks. Chas almost walked into her back, and it would have been comical if the situation had have been different.

Charity seemed to regain her composure and made her way to the counter. 

Rhona was looking at Vanessa with a concerned expression. “How about we get going?”

Vanessa sighed. “No, we were bound to bump into each other sooner or later. We both live in a very small village. We might as well get used to it.”

Charity kept shooting love sick glances in Vanessa’s direction as she waited for her coffee.

Vanessa was sitting with her back to Charity and was willing herself not to turn around. She was trying to put on an unaffected air, but she’d gone quiet and Rhona could see tears welling in her eyes.

Rhona suddenly felt very guilty. She had assumed Vanessa would get over the landlady straight away, not realising the depth of her friend’s feelings. “Vanessa, I hate to see you like this. I’m so sorry.”

Vanessa gave her a forced smile. “Don’t be. It’s not like it’s your fault.”

Rhona looked sheepish. “Yeah, about that....do you think we could go somewhere else and talk?”

Vanessa was confused. “No. How about you tell me right now what’s going on?”

Rhona was avoiding her eye. “I might’ve warned Charity off. Told her she wasn’t good enough for you. And it’s true, you deserve....”

She was immediately cut off by Vanessa. “You did what?!” It came out louder than she expected, and everyone in the cafe turned to look at her, including Charity.

Vanessa didn’t seem to notice and had stood up. “How dare you. You don’t know Charity. You don’t know anything about her. How dare you say she isn’t good enough for me. She’s kind, and patient, and gentle, and loyal. She helped me. She listened. She didn’t judge me. She was everything I needed you to be and weren’t. You made me feel ashamed. I spent another six years in the closet because of you.”

Rhona tried to interrupt her friend. “Vanessa, please listen to me...”

But Vanessa was on a roll. “No, you listen. God knows you’ve had your say. You’re supposed to be my best friend. You used me. You played on my feelings for you just to fuel your drug habit. And you have the nerve to say that it’s Charity who’s not good enough for me? You made me feel like there was something wrong with being gay, like it was a dirty word. Charity gave me the courage to be who I really am. Because she’s wonderful, and because she’s amazing.”

Charity, along with the rest of the cafe, had been quietly watching the whole showdown. Nobody had ever gone in to bat for her before, to defend her, not even her own family. She’d been listening with increasing amounts of wonder at what Vanessa was saying. And on hearing those final words she felt herself gravitating towards Vanessa.

“You think I’m amazing?” Charity asked, slightly disbelievingly.

It was the sound of Charity’s voice that finally snapped Vanessa out of her tirade. She seemed to suddenly become aware of her surroundings and turned to face the landlady, finding her directly behind her. Vanessa’s face immediately softened. “Totally. And I still really like you, Charity Dingle.”

Charity regarded her for a moment, searching her face for any hint of an untruth and finding none. “And I flaming well like you too.”

Charity grabbed two fistfuls of Vanessa’s coat and tugged the smaller woman closer. It was the vet that closed the remaining distance as her hands went to Charity’s face. They shared a tender kiss, both melting into the caress. As they broke apart, they gave each other a soft smile. After Vanessa had quickly cast her eyes around the cafe and realised they had an audience, she took Charity’s hand and led her out of the cafe and to the side of the building, allowing them a little more privacy.

Charity gave Vanessa a crooked smile. “That was one hell of a way to come out to everyone.”

Vanessa looked at her with fondness. “I don’t care about that. I only care about you. Now shut up and kiss me again.”

Charity obliged. The kiss was deeper, more passionate this time. Without breaking contact, Charity backed Vanessa against the wall, one hand resting on the vet’s hip and the other at the crook of her neck. God, Vanessa had missed kissing Charity.

As they broke apart, Vanessa gave Charity a meaningful look. “I’m still mad at you, you know. For listening to Rhona. You once told me not to listen to what other people said. You should take your own advice. You ARE good enough for me. We’re good enough for each other. We’re good for each other. We’re perfect for each other.”

Charity was looking at the smaller woman in wonder, like she couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.

“I know. I’m sorry,” said Charity in a slightly choked voice.

Vanessa captured her lips again, trying to convey everything she was feeling into the kiss.

“Well maybe you should make it up to me properly,” suggested the vet with a raised eyebrow.

Charity grinned, before being practically dragged in the direction of Tug Ghyll. 

***

Having spent the night at Vanessa’s, the following morning Charity had just finished taking a shower at Tug Ghyll and was towelling herself off in the bathroom. She hadn’t realised she had forgotten to lock the door. As Tracy entered and saw a very naked Charity, she let out a small scream.

“Charity! For God’s sake cover up.” Tracy was covering her eyes with her hand. “And lock the door next time.”

Charity wrapped herself in the towel. “All clear.” Tracy removed her hand from her face. “Did you see anything you liked?” Charity asked whilst wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, unable to resist a bit of banter with the younger woman.

Tracy’s eyes went wide. “Oh my God. Vanessa said she wouldn’t say anything. And I wasn't being serious anyway.” She turned red and then stormed out of the bathroom.

As Charity sauntered back into Vanessa’s bedroom, she found the vet sitting up in bed drinking her mug of tea. “Your sister is weird,” Charity said bluntly, before relaying the story of what had happened. “So come on then, what are you not saying anything about?”

Vanessa smiled to herself. “Well if I told you, that would defeat the point of not saying anything.”

“Oh, come on babe!” Charity pleaded.

Vanessa sighed. Charity was a difficult person to say no to, especially when she was covered only by a very small towel. “Okay, I suppose she’s dropped herself in it anyway. But you have to promise not to tease her about it.”

Charity sat down on the bed. “Cross my heart.”

“When I came out to her, to make me feel better she told me that even straight women have girl crushes."

"And?"

"And it turns out, her girl crush is you.”

Charity immediately let out a scream of laughter. “Oh babe, this is hilarious. Didn’t realise your sister had a thing for me as well. But then I guess I am unfairly sexy and irresistible.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at Charity. “You’re insufferable you know.”


	9. Epilogue

It had been several months since Charity and Vanessa had got together. Their relationship had gone from strength to strength and they had remained as besotted with each other as they had been at the start.

They were lying in bed in each other’s arms after they’d just given each other their first orgasm of the morning. They were facing each other, so close together that they could feel each other’s breath on their faces. Vanessa was looking adoringly into Charity’s eyes.

“Will you go on a date with me?” the vet asked.

Charity’s brow furrowed slightly in surprise. They’d been together months, had been out plenty of times with the kids in tow, had grabbed a drink at the pub or the cafe frequently, and spent most nights together either at Tug Ghyll or Jacob’s Fold. But the landlady realised they’d never in fact been on a proper date.

Charity’s face softened into a smile. “We’ve done everything in the wrong order haven’t we? I would love to go on a date with you Vanessa Woodfield.” She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Vanessa’s smiling lips.

*** 

Charity had booked them a table at the Italian restaurant in Hotten. They’d decided to get ready separately, and then get a taxi together into town. Unusually they hadn’t seen each other all day.

Charity gave herself a quick glance over in the mirror. She’d chosen a perfectly tailored suit, knowing that Vanessa was a sucker for her in such outfits. 

**Charity:- Taxi’s booked. Meet me outside the pub in five? X**

**Vanessa:- Deal! Missed you x**

Five minutes later, Vanessa slipped on her heels, grabbed her bag and keys, and headed out the door.

They approached the Woolpack from different ends of the village, reaching the pub at the same time. The first thing Vanessa noticed about Charity was her new hair style. She’d had it cut in a bob, and had curled it slightly. Vanessa’s heart skipped a beat and she smiled. “Your hair!”

“Does it look alright?” Charity asked. “I wasn’t sure.” She fiddled with it self-consciously.

“I love it. Just when I think you can’t get any more gorgeous, you go and prove me wrong.”

Vanessa pulled Charity in for a kiss, running her hands through the taller woman’s hair and getting used to the new length.

Smiling, Charity pulled back, taking Vanessa in. “You look.....wow.” The vet had bought a new dress to mark their very first date, not wanting to recycle any previous outfits. It was tight fitting and navy blue, showing off just the right amount of cleavage. Charity felt her heart flutter, and couldn’t resist pulling her girlfriend in for another kiss.

They were interrupted by a car pulling up; their taxi had arrived.

***

“I’m stuffed,” said Charity, as she finished chewing the last mouthful of the ridiculously chocolatey pudding they had shared. She placed the fork back on the plate and pushed it to one side.

Vanessa smiled at her. “I’ve had a really great time tonight. It’s been amazing.”

Charity returned her grin. “It has been pretty special hasn’t it. Just the two of us. Without the little monsters.”

Charity went to reach for Vanessa’s hand that was resting on the table, but pulled back at the last moment thinking better of it. Vanessa couldn’t help but notice and frowned. “What was that? What just happened?”

Charity shrugged. “I know you’re out to everyone in the village, everyone knows we’re together. But I wasn’t sure how you felt about being public with us at a place like this.”

Vanessa’s face softened. “Give me your hand,” she said, holding her own palm up until Charity’s hand clasped her own. “I’m proud of who I am now. I’m proud that you’re my girlfriend. I want the whole world to know. You make me so happy.”

Charity was looking at her like she hung the stars. “You make me happy too, Ness. As happy as I’ve ever been in my whole life.” She brought Vanessa’s hand up to her lips and pressed a kiss to it.

*** 

They had finished up at the restaurant and were slowly walking towards the taxi rank, hand in hand. It was a balmy evening, and the moonlight shone down on them.

Vanessa stopped walking, bringing Charity to a halt as well. The vet had been thinking about their conversation at the restaurant.

“Thank you,” Vanessa said.

“For what babe?”

“For being you. And for letting me be me. Six months ago I was still in the closet, hadn’t even told a single person I was gay. And look at me now. Walking down the street holding my girlfriend’s hand. It’s all because of you. You’ve changed my life completely. I love you.”

Vanessa’s eyes went comically wide. She hadn’t meant to let those last three words slip out. She’d been feeling it for a while but wasn’t sure how Charity would react.

“Charity, I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that. It’s okay if you don’t feel...” She was stopped by urgent lips on her own. Charity kissed her so deeply, so thoroughly, and with such intensity that it made her weak at the knees. When they broke apart Charity didn’t say anything in return, but she was looking at the smaller woman with such raw emotion in her eyes that Vanessa was left in no doubt as to her feelings.

They continued on their way to the taxi rank arm in arm, Vanessa on slightly unsteady legs as she tried to compose herself after the kiss.

***

Charity had been quiet in the taxi all the way home. Vanessa started to worry she had misjudged the situation, that it had been too soon to say those three little words after all. And yet Charity had clung to Vanessa’s hand the whole time not wanting to be parted.

They were still holding hands when they entered Jacob’s Fold, but Charity’s silence was making Vanessa nervous. She gave the taller woman’s hand a squeeze. “How about I make us a cuppa?” She turned to head to the kitchen, but the landlady kept hold of her hand so that she was forced to turn back around.

“Ness,” Charity said in a voice thick with emotion. Vanessa noticed her girlfriend’s glassy eyes and panicked. The last time they were stood before each other with Charity looking and sounding like this had been when she had been about to break up with her. But before Vanessa could over think things, Charity continued. “I love you too. More than I could ever put into words. I didn’t want to say it straight back to you earlier in case you thought I was only saying it because you had. But the thought of you not knowing is so much worse. I really, really, stupidly and completely love you.”

It was only then that Vanessa realised that the tears in Charity’s eyes were the happy kind. And her own cheeks were now wet as well. They gave each other a watery smile, and Vanessa felt completely overwhelmed by love. Charity leaned forward and kissed away The tears from Vanessa’s face, before covering the smaller woman’s lips with her own, trying to pour all of her emotion into the kiss. Vanessa melted into the affection.

They kissed each other so soundly, so thoroughly, that when they parted they were both aching for more. Lips immediately met again. They made slow progress up the stairs, knocking into things on the way to the bedroom as they kissed continuously, not willing to lose contact.

Once in the bedroom, they slowly undressed one another, one item of clothing being gently peeled off at a time until they were both naked. This stage was usually rushed, clothes practically ripped from their bodies in their hurry to touch each other. But tonight felt different, more sensual, every touch more intimate. They were taking their time.

Charity was normally the dominant one, but Vanessa was taking the lead tonight. She was determined to show Charity just how much she loved her, with actions as well as with words. After gently guiding the taller woman down on the bed, Vanessa straddled her. She leaned down and kissed her with purpose and then moved to her neck, finding all the little places that made Charity’s breath hitch. Vanessa wanted to kiss and lick every square inch of Charity’s body, to make her feel worshipped. She began to pepper a hot line of kisses down Charity’s chest, over the two tiny moles on her chest, before lavishing attention on her breasts for several minutes, eliciting little moans of pleasure from the taller woman. 

Vanessa moved lower still, and once she fully registered Charity’s arousal she couldn’t resist tasting her any longer. Vanessa had been hesitant the first time she had gone down on her girlfriend, unsure of what to expect, but it had quickly become one of her favourite things to do. She could (and did) spend hours with her tongue between the landlady’s thighs, and she’d become addicted to it, marvelling in the way Charity would come completely undone at her mouth.

Charity gasped as Vanessa began stroking her clit slowly and thoroughly with her insistent tongue. The vet was alternating between sucking the taller woman’s clit gently into her mouth, tracing intricate patterns over it with the tip of her tongue, and licking it with long languid strokes with varying amounts of pressure. And then she pressed her tongue completely inside Charity, curling and swirling slowly and repeatedly, before returning the attention to her clit.

The heat was building and Charity knew she wouldn’t last much longer. “Ness,” she choked out breathlessly. “I need you up here.” She whimpered as Vanessa removed her tongue, and then let out a deep moan as it was replaced by her girlfriend’s fingers. Charity guided Vanessa’s mouth back to her own as the smaller woman slipped two fingers inside her. Vanessa set a steady pace, thrusting deeply, and stroking her inside walls. Their kisses became more and more messy as Charity began to unravel. Vanessa could tell her girlfriend was close.

“Charity, open your eyes. Look at me,” Vanessa commanded. Charity looked directly into her girlfriend’s gorgeous eyes, fighting to keep her own open as her pleasure almost reached breaking point. “I love you,” the vet said at the same moment as she skilfully rolled her thumb over Charity’s clit, sending her over the edge. The landlady cried out in pleasure as she repeatedly clenched around Vanessa’s fingers.

As Charity gradually came down from her high, Vanessa continued to slowly kiss her. The vet pulled back and was looking at her with such adoration, making Charity’s heart feel so full of love she thought it might burst.

Charity’s exhaustion was soon forgotten, wanting to return the favour and show Vanessa just how much she loved her. She flipped her so that she was lying on her back, with Charity half draped over her. The landlady slid her tongue into Vanessa’s mouth and kissed her so deeply she could feel it all the way down to the tips of her toes.

Charity slowly snaked her hand down Vanessa’s body and between her thighs. She knew how the vet’s body reacted to her and wasn’t surprised to find how wet she was. She started to slowly stroke Vanessa’s clit, caressing it, tracing wonderful patterns over it, building her up slowly. Charity was varying the pressure and speed of her touches, eliciting gasps and moans from Vanessa. She teased at the smaller woman’s entrance before sliding two fingers inside, stroking her with a maddeningly slow pace. Charity could tell it wasn’t enough, but she wouldn’t be rushed, not tonight. She continued with her thrusts, as deeply as her fingers would go.

“Charity,” Vanessa gasped. “I need more.”

The taller woman carefully inserted a third finger and Vanessa let out a strangled moan. Charity let her get used to the stretch of being filled, before starting to gently rock into her with her whole body. Her lips travelled to Vanessa’s neck, sucking on her pulse point, then moved up and nibbled at her ear lobe. Charity started to increase the pace of her firm thrusts and Vanessa was writhing beneath her. Charity expertly curled her fingers and found the special place inside Vanessa that drove her wild, and after a few more strokes the vet was coming around Charity’s fingers.

Charity continued to stroke her gently, drawing out her orgasm. The landlady’s lips were level with Vanessa’s ear. “I love you, Ness. I love you,” she whispered over and over again.

Once Vanessa’s body had finally gone limp, she didn’t think she could move even if she wanted to, completely overwhelmed by the intensity of her orgasm.

“I love you Charity, so much,” she said in a shaky voice.

“I love you too.”

Charity settled against Vanessa’s side and they stayed wrapped up in the embrace, holding each other until they both drifted off to sleep.

***

The following evening, Vanessa was sat on the sofa at Jacob’s Fold, the place where it had all begun. Charity was lying with her head in her girlfriend’s lap.

“Do you believe in fate?” asked Vanessa, as she gently stroked Charity’s hair.

Charity’s brow furrowed as she thought about it. “No. Maybe, I don’t know. Why?”

“Don’t you ever wonder what our lives would have been like? That first night if you hadn’t have found me crying in the toilet at the pub. If you hadn’t invited me over here. If I hadn’t accepted. Everything that followed wouldn’t have happened. We wouldn’t be together.”

Charity was quiet for a few moments as she mulled it over. She sat up so that she was looking at her girlfriend. “I believe in destiny. That’s different to fate, I think. Like, even if things hadn’t happened the way they did, it wouldn’t have mattered. Because we were destined to end up together, and something else would have happened to get to the same result. Like getting stuck in a lift together, or....” she searched her brain for another ridiculous example, “I don’t know, getting locked in the cellar or something.” Charity kissed Vanessa softly. “We belong together, always.”

Vanessa smiled at her lovingly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the kudos and your lovely comments – I genuinely had no idea how important it was to writers before I started writing myself. I think I’m going to take a bit of a break from writing now and go back to just enjoying reading fics again, because I didn’t realise how much writing a fic of this length takes out of you. I have a whole new appreciation and respect for the writers who do this on a regular basis. This was my first multi chapter fic. Parts of it I was really proud of and other parts I wasn’t happy with at all. But I hope you’ve enjoyed it and hopefully I’ve done this wonderful fandom justice. PS in case you couldn’t tell, I love soft Charity! Follow me on Twitter @vanityavalance


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